Little Fighters, Big Wins: Why Prematurity Awareness Month Matters to Me

When it comes to a birth plan, most of us think through every possible outcome — vaginal vs. C-section, epidural or not, delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin, and so on. But the one scenario that never crossed my mind before having our first baby was the chance of having a preemie. Everyone told me that first babies usually “hang in there past their due date.” Spoiler: mine didn’t.

As both a pediatric physical therapist and a NICU mom (twice!) I’ve learned that no amount of planning can fully prepare you for an early arrival. What it can do is help you find strength, connection, and moments of calm when things feel completely out of your control.

In honor of Prematurity Awareness Month, here are a few things I wish every preemie parent knew.

L's first day in the NICU

Bring tissues for the day you’re discharged… and your baby isn’t.

You spend months carrying this tiny human, and nothing prepares you for the moment you’re told to go home without them. The ache in your chest is real. While it might sound dramatic, it’s a heartbreak many NICU parents quietly share. I was lucky that both of my babies eventually came home, but not every family gets that victory. Whatever your journey looks like, carve out time to take care of yourself. Lean on your support system. Ask for help. Cry. And remember, needing space to heal doesn’t make you less strong.

If you plan to nurse, take advantage of your hospital’s

I took advantage of the free bottles they offered for milk collection but later regretted not using storage bags that are flat. Learn from my mistake!

donor milk program.

There are so many things to worry about in the NICU, your milk supply shouldn’t be one of them. Using the hospital’s donor milk took so much pressure off of me to make every feeding, helped me build up a freezer stash, and eased my stress when most feeds had to go through the NG tube. Our NICU also had hospital-grade pumps, which offer more suction than the ones and home and were a lifesaver establishing a supply when I wasn't able to nurse. It meant one less thing to lug on those daily trips and helped me balance recovery and visits.

Watch for positioning preferences (and switch sides!).

As a pediatric PT, I knew that all the lights, sounds, and tubing from NICU monitors can cause babies to favor one side a setup that can contribute to torticollis and plagiocephaly (flat spots). Every visit, I’d gently rearrange my baby’s position so the monitors were on the opposite side. Little changes add up, and these early moments of positioning support can make a big difference later on.

Yes, preemies can do tummy time- safely and gently.

Don't forget to include some skin to skin!

Before you think I’m crazy, hear me out! Lying your baby on your chest while you recline counts as tummy time. I didn’t place my son on the floor until we were home and all the lines were removed, but chest-to-chest time helped him strengthen his neck and core from day one. I believe our NICU nurses even did supported tummy time in the crib- always under close supervision. Between sleepless nights and the height of COVID, those memories are fuzzy, but just remember the smallest movement matters.

Ask the nurses how you can help- they’ll show you the ropes.

Many parents don’t realize they can participate in temperature checks, diaper changes, and even bath time. It’s a small way to feel connected and part of your baby’s care. Once you learn the routine, you’re actually helping the nurses too!

M under the bilirubin lights

Celebrate every little win.

It’s easy to look around the NICU and see babies going home before yours. That comparison game will steal your joy faster than you can say “discharge papers.”

Instead, celebrate any progress- a smaller oxygen requirement, an extra ounce gained, a successful feed. Each tiny step brings your baby one step closer to home.

Read to your baby even through the glass.

You might not get as much touch and cuddle time as you’d like, but your voice still matters. Reading aloud can calm your baby, strengthen your bond, and support early language development. Pack a few small board books or soft fabric books. The sound of your voice will be familiar, comforting, and healing for both of you.

💜 Final Thoughts

Whether you’re still in the NICU or home with your little miracle, remember that every family’s story unfolds at its own pace. There’s no “right way” to navigate prematurity, just love, patience, and showing up the best you can. This Prematurity Awareness Month, my hope is that more parents feel seen, supported, and confident that small steps still count as progress.

If this post helped you, share it with a fellow NICU parent or tag @phunphitpham- I’d love to connect and hear your story. 💜